Education, media and Parental guidance

The following post might be offensive to some, so if you are offended on reading about sex or sex organs or anything related please dont read this post.

After having another successful patrolling in the subway I was invited on the show with Moataz AL-Demerdash to talk about the event and discuss a bit the case of Iman the girl was killed by her harasser when she spat in his face after he sexually harassed her. They caught the harasser today 21/9/2012 which is about 11 days after she was murdered.

Anyway the interesting part was the way there, I was picked up by the most amazing and talkative driver, a 45 year old Masaod. He is married and has 3 sons and one of them is still in high school, he is religious and doesnt have college education just a high school degree. He has white hair with a fair skin, he walks with a smile greeting everyone that comes his way. He always talks about everyone in a good way. He talked to me how he faced death on the 28th of January 2011 and how all he wished for was to call his family to tell them where he might die but he couldn’t because all the phone lines were cut off. “I prayed to God to save me” he said ” I couldn’t do anything but to pray and then I saw well looking man who stopped me and hid me with the car, his family made me tea and a place to sleep, I slept till morning when everything was calm again”. “You are a lucky man, may God blees you” I said.

He then asked me what I am doing and why I going on the show. I told him that we are fighting sexual harassment, he was amazed and he said he can never understand how can some men stoop so low.

“I always talk to my son” he said “I always do my best to spend time with him even tho i finish work at 2am, I wake him up to pray fajr then we speak for bit and I try to guide him. When kids grow they can feel the change in their bodies, please forgive me but may i be open in speaking?” I told him yes please be open.

“Women start to grow breast and men start having something that grows out of their bodies that they really dont understand fully, so he might play with it out of curiosity. So I asked him if anything has ever “fallen” from his male organ?  he replied yes father, so i explained to him what it was and that he cant pray in case this happen and that he has to wash before praying. I explained him the meaning of lust and that movies with sexual images or scenes would provoke feelings of lust and sexual urges in him which is not healthy nor right. Whenever we watch TV I always direct to american action movies not Egyptian movies” I asked him why not Egyptian Movies?

“Egyptian movies and media now has become very sexual in their plots and scenes which is not right to be shown to teenagers. They show sex as dirty.” he continues ” I explained sex to him and that it is best when it with someone he loves, his wife. Parents need to explain these things to their kids. not feel shy about it, explain as if they are both in bed”

“Would you support sex education in schools?” I asked

“Yes” he answered “we cant make them always feel that sex is wrong or that being around women is wrong. Sex is not bad when it is with your wife or husband. Most teenagers go around touching other women out of curiosity because they want to explore.”

I said ” but groping other women is very wrong and makes a woman feels like shit”

He replied “yes absolutely, thats why we need to change our way of raising up our children. Teach them to respect women and that women and men are the same, we are all human beings”

“some people suggest legalizing prostitution” I said ” so that if a man is feeling sexually frustrated he can go find a woman who would agree to having sex with him in return for money, I mean otherwise some men just rapes women”

“Rape is inexcusable” he said ” I really dont understand rape, its like someone holding a pen going around making holes in a piece paper, the man feels no enjoyment and the woman is in pain. but when both are in agreement its like 2 hands holding a crayon painting beautiful picture.” “As for prostitution” he continues ” we cant fix this problem with another problem. what we could do is facilitate marriage so that this would not happen that someone would feel sexually frustrated. Parents should talk to their kids, my sons never shy to come and talk to me and I try to guide them to right path.”

“But some men are just simply sadistic, they like to see women in pain” i said. He said “yes and those men should be thrown in jail”

“My wife went to Umra once and I stayed with the kids, for an entire week all i made them eat was eggs and pasta, i washed clothes, and worked. It made me think how strong my wife is. I can not live without her she is my other half. I always feel bad if I ever upset her she takes care of me and everyone”

“Islam and going back to God is the answer to our problems” he said “It is because of him that we were victorious in the revolution at the beginning once we walked away from him and got divided, we lost everything.”

“But most of the Islamic leaders now a day focus on the appearance but not in what is in the heart” i commented ” so many people would look religious but they are not”

“He said thats why we should read, educate ourselves and not follow blindly”

As a conclusion from this conversation with Masaod; Educating our children and guiding them is extremely important other wise they would turn to their friends or worse the media. The media that portrays the woman as a sex object or that she is only good in seducing men and luring them into doing what she wants. She has to be beautiful and sexy all the time. Then they portray the strong women as either bitches or have a failed marriage.

The image of women became distorted and we are treated like flesh ups for grabs. Property of who can pay the higher price. Even in marriages specifically in the middle east the family asks for a high dowry and expensive apartment which is something very hard to secure for someone who is just starting his life but it also puts a price on the woman that she is expensive. What is really sad is that if that woman wasn’t a virgin she would be given away for “free”. The family would do anything to get rid of her at this point it doesn’t matter how she lost her virginity whether it was with someone she loves or if she was raped she brought shame to her family.

Be careful what you allow your children watch, be aware of what you are watching and what kind of ideas are put into your head.

One of best friends she is always puzzled by many Arab men, she says they always ask if she is a virgin but they never ask if she can read. She is right we reduced the worth of women to their hymen. We are human beings we enjoy sex and get sexually aroused just like men we are not made solely to give pleasure to the man and help in multiplying the numbers of human beings. We are capable of so much more in fact we are capable of doing anything and everything. We need to stop blaming women for what men do to us (women) no more victim blaming.

I have seen many strong women and men who gives me hope that tomorrow will better and that day after day women are getting stronger and strong men are empowering them.

Finally please watch the following video just to give a sense what the media is doing to the image of women and men


2 Responses

  1. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I don’t know who you are but definitely you
    are going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!

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